Tuesday, October 20, 2009

WOW 12 weeks?!? Really??

WOW! We made it. This is what I said to Chris yesterday morning. We really made it! And yet I am a bit annoyed because this dang paranoia I thought would then vanish is STILL HERE!!! But, I honestly think this has to do with our scan Thursday. It's been a little over two weeks and lil Pea has been growing like crazy! So we hope. This scan is @ the Perinatal office. This is part 1 of a two part testing. They will be testing for the usual birth defects and also just to make sure everything is growing as should be so far.

I just can't get it into my head we might have finally created a perfect living baby. I need this scan to prove all my fears wrong. Our lil miracle conceived finally by Clomid. And then baby scaring us in the beginning when my Beta levels weren't rising like they should. This will truly be my lil miracle to see everything on that screen as it should. Our lil Pea now a teeny tiny baby. I just want this feeling I have that my dream will be ripped from beneath me to go away finally. And I think it really will once I see our baby Thursday. Then I can say we really did it. I think it's also very surreal to me to think there is this little life that now looks just like a baby inside my belly. Because I really don't have a belly yet. So I keep thinking maybe he/she is not growing properly. Or my new fear that my Uterus is not expanding like it should. I know I sound silly to some. And a few friends that have recently had babies have reassured me a little that some people really don't start showing until 13-14 weeks! And even then just a little bump. My best friend told me today, just calm down because soon you will be complaining you're huge like me! She is now 32 weeks preggo with her 2nd. And I'm sure she is right! So now we are saying another prayer that everything will be as it should Thursday and that I will get to enjoy seeing lil Pea moving around. Our 1st real look @ our baby. My friend Lauren told me for her this scan was truly amazing and an eye opener for her. So as nervous as I am I'm also excited.

Dealing with the miscarriages and Infertility the last year I have met many women online suffering as we were. Each there own story. All sad, some absolutely devastating. These women are all so strong, though. And they all deserve to be Mommy's. And some are now very soon about to be! Along with having them there to talk with during our hard times the past year I have also learned about so many other scary things that can happen while pregnant. But I have also reminded myself that although I know of all these things that can still happen even after making it past that 12 week mark, that was not our problem. Our problem was early 1st trimester miscarriages. So even though there are things that can still go wrong this was never our problem and I am going to enjoy the rest of this Pregnancy and just hope I never develop any of these other problems. I really want to enjoy this PG as I can't believe the first 12 weeks have already come and gone! We are still not sure what the future holds and if I will ever again be pregnant, so I want to totally enjoy each and every minute of this possibly once in a lifetime experience. Nausea, Migraines and all!! lol

That is my newest symptom. HORRIBLE headaches. And I am allergic to Tylenol so I can't take anything. They sometime's feel worse than hangover headache's for those who have never been PG. Today is my first day since Thursday I don't have one. (knock on wood)

I also wanted to attach a pic of the sweet card Chris made for me yesterday. Yes he will be a wonderful Daddy...♥

Oh and I almost forgot to mention I got my Doppler in the mail thursday and I LOVE IT!!!!! Took me awhile the first time to find lil Pea. He/she is still so low!! (btw, thanks DAWN for all your help with it!) But now I know where to look and I say hi every night. :o)

13 comments:

  1. aw, how sweet of him! and yes, i agree with with dana! lol but remember, you are tiny to begin with, it seems like all small people take forever to show!! (makes me feel a bit like a whale, btw)!! but good luck thurs, it will def be a fun appt, even though there is a blood draw involved, no biggie, the us is so much fun! are you going to the one in weston, se perinatal?,they are all so nice! cant wait to see some pics!! xoxoxo

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  2. How very exciting that you've made it passed the first trimester!! Can't wait to see your pictures on Thurs!!!

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  3. WOW!! time has flew by. The card is very sweet.. so glad you have a good husband:)
    praying that all goes well on Thursday.

    Hugs,
    Hannah

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  4. chris is sooo sweet. love the card. you both are gonna make wonderful parents! if u look at the pics i sent a few weeks ago i didn't really have much of a bump until 18wks and this is #2. you get bigger faster each time. and u have alot more abdominal muscle than i do so it will be awhile till you have a bump and even longer till u actually look prego with your clothes on. you will go through that lovely stage of maybe she just has a beer gut before it becomes obvious you are pregnant. at 33wks i am large and in charge wondering what happend to my body!! good luck thus and can't wait to get all the details. see you in 2wks. xoxo

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  5. I'm so excited to see your pictures on Thrusday!

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  6. This is a huge step! You have to stay positive. Every pregnancy is different, so you can't dwell on what could happen. Mark these words, IT FLIES BY!!! So, you have to enjoy it, because it will be over with in a flash. Seeing the profile of your little fetus on Thursday will be such a great experience!!!

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  7. Yaaaay! Congratulations! I know you have been through so much.....I just want to let you know when I was preggo I worried and thought of all the things that could go wrong too. I was practically torturing myself thinking of all those things I read about. I told myself 'After the first tri-mester I will relax.' That screening you have will be truly amazing. And it does help to calm you down because the details that they will show you are unbelievable. Its awesome! Unfortunately, if you are like me you will still be worried! I was worried until the day Aubrey was born and she was in my arms looking up at me. I guess its only natural, esp. with what you have been through but just enjoy each and every second because no matter what some people say, it goes by so fast!!!! Then when you take your little munchkin home there is an endless list of new worries!!! Thats part of being a good mommy I guess lol.
    I got alot of headaches too and if I remember correctly they started to go away around 14 wks. I didnt take any tylenol or meds even though the dr. said it was ok because I was paranoid heehee. So hopefully you wont have to deal with those for much longer. Its wierd because when you feel the most preggo, nobody can tell since you dont have a belly. I didnt really show until 5 1/2 months. Then when I got my belly I felt great!! Soon enough you will be wobbling around like I was towards the end lol. Im so excited for you and cant wait to hear all about your dr. visit on Thurs!!!! xoxo

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  8. So excited for you! What a huge hurdle you have surpassed - you deserve this and so much more so enjoy it (while your normal clothes still fit hehe) Can't wait to hear how Thursday goes!

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  9. Congratulations on making it to the 2nd trimester! Jane was telling me shes going to the doctor with you guys on Thursday. I'm sure it will be a great experience for all of you.

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  10. Yeah for 12 weeks! I can't even believe you are already at this big milestone! Keep up the good work!♥

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  11. I had a dream that I had a miscarriage last night and I'm not even pregnant yet! My thoughts are driving me nuts too. I'm so happy for you! You deserve to enjoy these next 28 weeks! When are you able to find out the sex of the baby?

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  12. Awesome Nicole! So happy for you guys! I had he bad headaches too and they will pass when you enter your 2nd trimester! (Hopefully) Chris.....that was sweet of you to write that letter! What a mush :) Again congrats!

    Melissa and Chris

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  13. I'm so excited for you that your pregnancy has progressed to this point! ALL for the better! Relax and try and enjoy it! Soon you'll have a little bundle of joy in your arms! I can't wait to hear how your appointment goes! And, hoping we can see pics!
    GOOD LUCK!
    Keeping you in my prayers!

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