Friday, October 30, 2009

2nd Trimester

WOW! 2nd Trimester already?!? The last few weeks seem to be flying by! Unfortunately the end of 1st trimester did not take the nausea with it.

This is from baby center for week 14 -
Welcome to your second trimester! Your energy is likely returning, your breasts may be feeling less tender, and your queasiness may have completely abated by now.
Ummm....No, No and NO!! lol I feel more tired this past week. And my usually not tender breasts have actually been a little tender this week! The nausea is not as bad as it was around 10 weeks but it's definitely still here. Or maybe I have just gotten used to it. Also my sinuses have been driving me crazy! Not sure if it's the weather or pregnancy. I keep feeling like I might be getting sick but then I'm fine.

A few things happened this past week. One I had my first bad dream that something happened to the baby. I'm not even sure why I had this dream. I haven't been nearly as paranoid as I was before our 12 weeks scan. I have actually relaxed quite a bit since then. Especially having my Doppler and being able to hear lil Pea if I am feeling paranoid for any reason. Too much to type my whole dream but they basically told me I was loosing the baby. And I lost it! I couldn't breathe in my dream and was hysterical. The nurse was telling someone to sedate me. When I woke up my face was buried in my pillow (probably why I felt like I couldn't breathe) and I had tears soaking my face and pillow. Needless to say I was glad to say hello to baby with my Doppler after that nasty dream.

On a lighter note a funny little thing that happened the other day. I had off Wednesday to use a vacation day. After Chris and I ran some errands we came home and he found a package on the front porch. To the Abramczyk's. Chris got all excited we got a present in the mail! He starts to open it and pulls out.....The Breastfeeding Book by Dr. Sears. Needless to say his excitement vanished! lolol But not mine. I knew right away it was from my best friend Dana. She has the same book and has told me about it many time's. Thanks again Dana!

I have been having some dull cramping and weird feelings going on down there the past week also. A friend said it's probably my body making more room for growing baby. That's what I figured. My belly is still about the same size so I'm gonna wait until 15 wks. to take another belly pic..

I also did my first baby browsing Wednesday with my friend Lauren & her new lil baby Carson. I say browsing because I didn't go to shop yet, just to look around and see all they have. It was a little overwhelming to say the least!!! Sure I have been to Babies R Us and a few other places many, many time's. Of course always looking for gifts for our many friends & relatives that have kids already. But for some reason this time looking at all this stuff knowing I have to soon pick stuff out for our own baby....yeah let's just say it's a bit overwhelming. There is soooooooo much!! And being a first time Mom I have no idea what is good and what is a waste. Sure there are a few things I have learned from friends and my SIL. But like I said there is so much! lol
I did find an outfit, though, I just HAD to buy! Here is a pic and you will see why.
*There is even a lil pea on the butt of the pants!!*

I go for my next appt. to see my OB on Thursday. It's just for an exam, no ultrasound. :-( I am going to ask/beg if I can have a sooner ultrasound (maybe around 16wks) before my 20 week anatomy scan to find out the sex sooner. Also just to see lil Pea again. I can't imagine going from 12 to 20 weeks not seeing him/her!!! After going every two weeks since we found out we were PG, that's a long stretch!! So we will see what he says. Fingers crossed for an extra ultrasound.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Starting to show!

I took some new belly pics yesterday and after looking at them I can definitely see I am starting to show now! I put two new pics in our album on my blog. For those who don't know you can go to the link on my blog that says Chris & Nicole's Album to see all pics so far of lil Pea and belly pics.

I also noticed yesterday when I listened for lil Pea with the Doppler I found him/her a little higher up than normal. Baby is growin & movin on up! And boy can I tell with the new horrible indigestion I have been having the past week. I got indigestion before pregnancy from certain things. Mainly too much garlic or sauce. Eating too fast or too much at one time. But this is TOTALLY different. I got indigestion from a dang pop tart the other day!! I am so burpy and constantly wondering/hoping nothing is coming up with each burp. lol Today the nausea was a little better, though. I'm hoping that means the 1st trimester is taking the nausea with it!! I can't believe Friday will be the beginning of the 2nd Trimester. This is all suddenly going by so fast. All I want to do is see lil Pea again waving and jumping around like he/she was on our scan last week. If I had my own ultrasound machine. Well that would just be trouble. lol
I can't wait until I can finally feel lil Pea. I know that is going to be sooooooo amazing. For now I just listen with my Doppler and say hi to lil Pea that way. Sometime's you can hear lil Pea moving around on it too. They said you can catch movement on the Doppler at time's.

Yesterday lil Pea also got his/her first gift from someone. It was from Geoff, Lauren and baby Carson. And I love it!!♥ Thanks again Lauren! I can't believe you found it. Here is a pic.

Isn't this sooooo cute!! Notice the little pea pod on the baby cap.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

One Word...Undescribable

Today was our 12 week scan @ the Perinatal office. I'm not gonna lie. My nerves got the best of me again. I really tried not to get to worked up. I hate doing that to the baby. I was fine yesterday and slept great last night. Then this morning I woke up and everything had me gagging. I was nausea but usually I am in the mornings. Well by the time I got to work I ran straight to the bathroom. My nausea+nerves=disaster. I threw up for the 2nd time this pregnancy. Usually I can handle the nausea but this time there was no holding back. I actually felt a bit better after that and then I was starving since breakfast was no longer in my belly.

So finally it was time to head out for our appt.. I met Chris at our house and we headed over. His Mom met us there also. First they drew my blood. Only one vial! Of course that was cake for me as I am a pro now. lol

Then it was time for our scan. And what I saw on that screen took my breathe away and had me in tears all at the same time! Even with our very unpersonable tech I couldn't help the tears that kept coming. She was very efficient but very quick and not fun or friendly about the whole thing. My friend Lauren who just had her baby went to the same place for her 12 week scan and the lady spent over a half hour showing her baby. Ours was probably 5 minutes. But what an absolutely wonderful 5 mins it was!!! Lil Pea (who is not so pea like anymore!) was all over the place. Waving, kicking and jumping!! The lady said 3 times what an active baby we have. I couldn't believe how we already got to see arms, legs, fingers, cute little nose and chin!! It was so amazing. And so perfect. We heard the heart, which is now 150. And I think it's a boy for some reason, but we will see. Also I assumed I was 12 weeks 3 days from the measurements at the RE's office but baby measured 12 weeks 6 days which is exactly perfect from the first day of my last period. Which now puts our due date back to April 30th which was going by my period.

I honestly just wanted to sit there and watch lil Pea for hours. It was so cute the way baby kept waving and moving all around. Like I said amazing. Chris tried to video but got yelled at. lol Apparently NO picture's or video. I wish I could have just had a little clip to watch over and over of lil Pea moving all around! Like I said....AMAZING.

I posted all the new pics in our album on our blog so please check them out. Of course I think it's the most beautiful baby I have ever seen, but that's just Mommy talking.
I also wanted to attach a picture of the beautiful sculpture lil Pea's Aunt Liv just gave us. It is made from Willow bark and is very touching. Thanks again sista!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

WOW 12 weeks?!? Really??

WOW! We made it. This is what I said to Chris yesterday morning. We really made it! And yet I am a bit annoyed because this dang paranoia I thought would then vanish is STILL HERE!!! But, I honestly think this has to do with our scan Thursday. It's been a little over two weeks and lil Pea has been growing like crazy! So we hope. This scan is @ the Perinatal office. This is part 1 of a two part testing. They will be testing for the usual birth defects and also just to make sure everything is growing as should be so far.

I just can't get it into my head we might have finally created a perfect living baby. I need this scan to prove all my fears wrong. Our lil miracle conceived finally by Clomid. And then baby scaring us in the beginning when my Beta levels weren't rising like they should. This will truly be my lil miracle to see everything on that screen as it should. Our lil Pea now a teeny tiny baby. I just want this feeling I have that my dream will be ripped from beneath me to go away finally. And I think it really will once I see our baby Thursday. Then I can say we really did it. I think it's also very surreal to me to think there is this little life that now looks just like a baby inside my belly. Because I really don't have a belly yet. So I keep thinking maybe he/she is not growing properly. Or my new fear that my Uterus is not expanding like it should. I know I sound silly to some. And a few friends that have recently had babies have reassured me a little that some people really don't start showing until 13-14 weeks! And even then just a little bump. My best friend told me today, just calm down because soon you will be complaining you're huge like me! She is now 32 weeks preggo with her 2nd. And I'm sure she is right! So now we are saying another prayer that everything will be as it should Thursday and that I will get to enjoy seeing lil Pea moving around. Our 1st real look @ our baby. My friend Lauren told me for her this scan was truly amazing and an eye opener for her. So as nervous as I am I'm also excited.

Dealing with the miscarriages and Infertility the last year I have met many women online suffering as we were. Each there own story. All sad, some absolutely devastating. These women are all so strong, though. And they all deserve to be Mommy's. And some are now very soon about to be! Along with having them there to talk with during our hard times the past year I have also learned about so many other scary things that can happen while pregnant. But I have also reminded myself that although I know of all these things that can still happen even after making it past that 12 week mark, that was not our problem. Our problem was early 1st trimester miscarriages. So even though there are things that can still go wrong this was never our problem and I am going to enjoy the rest of this Pregnancy and just hope I never develop any of these other problems. I really want to enjoy this PG as I can't believe the first 12 weeks have already come and gone! We are still not sure what the future holds and if I will ever again be pregnant, so I want to totally enjoy each and every minute of this possibly once in a lifetime experience. Nausea, Migraines and all!! lol

That is my newest symptom. HORRIBLE headaches. And I am allergic to Tylenol so I can't take anything. They sometime's feel worse than hangover headache's for those who have never been PG. Today is my first day since Thursday I don't have one. (knock on wood)

I also wanted to attach a pic of the sweet card Chris made for me yesterday. Yes he will be a wonderful Daddy...♥

Oh and I almost forgot to mention I got my Doppler in the mail thursday and I LOVE IT!!!!! Took me awhile the first time to find lil Pea. He/she is still so low!! (btw, thanks DAWN for all your help with it!) But now I know where to look and I say hi every night. :o)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

1st belly pics

I decided since I'm gaining weight time to start taking belly pics. I wish I had taken a before pic.. Oh well. So here it is. I don't really feel I have "popped" yet so I'm pretty sure my new pudge is just bloat and....well pudge! lol
11wks 2days

I also wanted to post a pic of lil Pea's 1st gift! Well actually this is more for Mommy and Daddy.
From Lauren, Geoff and baby Carson. Thank you guys!! It's perfect Lauren. xo

Monday, October 12, 2009

11 weeks

So I decided I am now far enough along to do my first survey. Here goes!

How Far Along? 11 weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss? 3 pounds (yes it's just pudge as I know lil Pea is still way too tiny to weigh that much. Plus my usual weekly workouts have ceased due to this lovely constant nausea)

Maternity Clothes: Non yet but I HATE anything even slightly tight on the belly so my Mom bought me my first Belly Band today
Sleep: Besides the trips to the bathroom usually pretty good

Best Moment of the Week: hoping my Doppler will come this week & hearing lil Pea's heartbeat again will be it for sure! We haven't heard it since 6 weeks @ the RE's office!

Movement: too early but I absolutely cannot WAIT until I finally can feel baby

Food Craving: None yet. Hard to decide what to eat with this persistent nausea. And yet I constantly feel hungry.

Food aversions: too many to list!! Damn nausea. I thought everything was supposed to taste wonderful pregnant!

Gender: we will hopefully find out in 5 weeks!!!!

Labor Signs: Nope

Belly Button: In and I really hope to keep it that way

What I miss: nothing really yet. Just happy to still be preggo! :o)

What I'm looking forward to: Appointment at the Perinatologist for our 12 week scan. As nervous as I am for this testing I can't wait to see lil Pea as a developed baby!!!

Weekly Wisdom: It's nice to be able to finally enjoy being PG (I admit I still definitely have my moments of fear, though. But I think I will till the end and I am ok with that)

Milestones: Every week in this 1st trimester is a milestone for me!! We can't wait to reach many more!!

This past weekend I saw something in the baby section while shopping for my soon to be nephew. It is something I have seen over the past few years and always hoped they would still have it when we finally were PG. I actually thought they had discontinued it as I haven't seen it in awhile. So I said screw it! Enough with my fears! And I bought lil Pea's first baby gift!! Of course the guilt tries to creep up on me, that It's still too early buy something. But I remind myself it is silly to think like that. Our last PG we never bought anything and that still didn't end well so I'm thinking the whole jinx thing really is just silly. So here is lil Pea's first gift from Mommy and Daddy. It goes on the bathtub nozzle and is a Firefighter duck. As most of you know hubby is a Firefighter. They used to have a little one that matches this one. It tests the water temp. but I still haven't ever seen that one again.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Babies, Babies, Babies!!

This past Thursday two of our good friends had their baby's! And less than an hour apart! Our friend's Lauren and Geoff had a beautiful baby boy.

Carson Michael Ellison
7lbs. 5oz. 19in.
Born 10/08/09
@ 4:34pm.

Our friend's Paul and Katrina had to have a C-Section at 36 weeks due to some complications. Luckily baby was fully developed and healthy and did not have to stay in NICU.

Keegan Lorelei Brin
5lbs. 8oz. 18in.
Born 10/08/09

We are so happy for all of you and can't imagine the happiness you feel finally bringing home your babies today. Wishing you good health and happiness in the many years to come!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Can this be real!?!

This is the question that plays in my head over and over again. Can there really be a little baby growing strong and healthy in my belly?!? After wondering if it would ever be possible for us? A life we created that will finally be our little baby we get to hold very soon?!
As some know my appt. was supposed to be today for my 10 week scan. Well after the different cramps I have been having the past few days. And then this nausea becoming an on/off thing after being every minute of every day the past 3 weeks or so I had become a bit panicked. I think it was also the fact that this has been the longest I have had to wait to see our lil Pea again. As Chris said to me, we got spoiled with our weekly scans at the RE's office. These had become my weekly comfort. So anyways on Tuesday my Mom mentioned if I was that nervous why not call and see if they had any openings for Wednesday. And they did!
So Chris and I went yesterday morning. I was trying to stay somewhat calm but I was extremely nervous. I really thought at one point I was going to throw up in the exam room while waiting for Dr. G to come in. He finally walked in carrying the Doppler. I told him I was nervous, which he could obviously see. So he said, well let's go show you your baby then! (so much for the Doppler which was just fine with me!)
So he walked us next door to the ultrasound room. Once I was laying down he started rubbing the wand on my belly and I just couldn't look. Finally he says look here, there is your baby's strong little beating heart. I finally turned my head and there was lil Pea. Just as strong as ever! And then the most amazing thing happened. Lil Pea jumped for us twice! It was the cutest most amazing thing!!! Just pushed those little feet against the sac and bounced!!! (Chris, being mister comedian himself, said baby was jumping up & down trying to get my attention to say, here i am!! now stop making us crazy!! lol) Now Dr. G's machine is nothing like @ the RE's office so we really couldn't see the arms and legs or much definition. But our appt. with the Perinatologist's office is in 2 weeks and I have heard they have very nice equipment for some great pics..
So I finally slept like a baby last night. I am trying to convince myself that this is really happening for us. After thinking & wondering if this would ever happen I am trying to convince myself now that it is. Dr. G told Chris I am not going to stop worrying so much until I can feel lil Pea every day moving in my belly. But even then I have been told by friends I may still worry when baby is sleeping or doesn't move for awhile. I have decided I am going to buy a Doppler. I have been referred a few good one's and if anyone knows of any other's that they have used or a friend has that works really good please let me know. This way when I do have some new cramps or anything else I am worried about I can use the Doppler and be reassured by the sound of lil Pea's heartbeat.
Chris tryed to video our exam in hope's that we would get to see lil Pea move but unfortunately with the fact that their machine is "not the best" and the screen being so small the video is not very good. But I put it with all our pics of lil Pea which you can see in our album link on our blog.
Thank you again for all the support and prayers from everyone. It means so much to us.
I also wanted to wish the best of luck to my friend
Lauren & Geoff on the possible delivery of baby Carson today. She started having contractions every 5mins this morning so it looks like little Carson might be here today! Wishing her the best of luck with delivery. I know she is hoping to do everything natural, no drugs. I hope everything works out and she get's to meet her beautiful healthy little boy today!♥

Monday, October 5, 2009

Freak out!

I had a little meltdown last night/this morning. Yesterday I noticed I wasn't really that nauseous. We were pretty busy as we got down all our Halloween decorations (we have a lot!) and put them all up from 9:30am until almost 2pm. I even got a little burnt. It was very sunny and hot out.
In the evening I started having some cramping that was a bit different than what I have been feeling. I have been getting two different types of cramping since I became PG. One is from my lovely IBS that this PG is driving crazy. The other is just my uterus and body growing to make room for lil Pea. I wasn't sure what the cramps last night were like. Maybe a little of both? But yet still different than usual. Anyhow, this on top of the "missing" nausea of course had me panicked. It took me back to 02/04/09 (my last miscarriage) like a horribly lived nightmare. Needless to say I slept like shit and was pretty panicky this morning. I woke up and still no nausea. Also I was surprised I didn't wake up for my middle of the night cracker feast. lol Yes I usually wake up sometimes in the night feeling horribly empty and nauseous. So I eat a few crackers I keep next to my bed and go back to sleep.
Once I woke up I started drinking one of my Activia smoothies while getting ready for work. I noticed that this was making me slightly nauseous. Then all of the sudden I felt like gagging (which I do often) but realized this was going to be worse than my normal gag. I ran to the toilet and threw up a few times. I am still not sure if this was morning sickness (as I have never actually thrown up) or just my nerves. Or maybe a combination of both.
The cramps have now stopped and I am just a bit "sore" feeling I guess you could say. I have felt this "sore" feeling before. Probably from everything stretching and moving. Needless to say I am a bit over sensitive to
every little thing going on with my lower body ever since the last miscarriage. It's honestly a bit ridiculous at times. Not to mention quite annoying.
Well now the nausea has returned with full force. And the cramps have stopped. So I have calmed down a bit. I was going to call my dr. but glad I waited. Now I think I will wait and see how things go today and tomorrow. If it bothers again I may call to see if I can come in tomorrow or Wednesday, if not I will try to hold out for my appt. Thursday.
I am thinking (& hoping/praying) the cramps were either 1. Just my body making even more room as baby is growing a lot now 2. Some more IBS as things are moved around in there to make room for baby 3. I overdid it a bit yesterday morning. my legs were even a little sore this morning! Crazy because i was a pretty fit person before this PG, working out several times a week. I have to remind myself I am not as fit as I used to be. In the beginning I was too nervous to work out and now with the nausea all I ever am really up for is a walk around the park! And finally 4. Maybe a combination of "all of the above" and that is why the cramps were a little more intense than usual.
I just hope soon I can finally relax!! Poor lil Pea must be a like a Mexican jumping bean!!
Thursday can't get here soon enough!

Our Halloween decorations