32 more days?!? *gasp*

Tomorrow will be March 30th. Lil Pea's DD is April 30th. And the days continue to fly by!! My anxiety level, it can get pretty high lately!! I try not to focus too much on what I still need to do, but many of you that know me well.....let's just say easier said than done for me. lol
I also try not to allow the many thoughts that run through my head bother me too much, as I read in my pregnancy books that these are common and normal thoughts to start having as your DD approaches. But I still get them. I am a bit of a control freak. And we are about to be faced with MANY things I cannot & will not be able to control. Like labor. And how she will be and how we will be as parents. Sure we can control these things to an extent. But we have no idea how my labor and delivery will be. As I have learned the past few months, every woman's L&D is SO different than the next. And we also won't know how she will be or how we will be as parents. All these unknowns have my anxiety level a bit on the high side lately.
Also as uncomfortable as I am getting I think I am going to miss having her in my belly. Or maybe not since I will actually have her in my arms?! It is still a bit surreal that she is a real little baby in my belly. All the videos we have seen and yet I can't imagine one of those coming out of me?? Okay so maybe that sounds weird or maybe you felt this way before you delivered too? And my newest symptom is a sore spot on my belly. Actually two spots. I started getting nervous but two of my friends said they felt this towards the end of their pregnancy. It kinda feels like a bruise would or sore muscle. It's probably cause this little girl is already so strong and can really punch sometimes!

So this Friday I had one of my now weekly visits with Dr. G. Everything still looks good. They did the Group B test. Didn't know they were doing that but hope things looked ok down stairs! lol I need to get a mirror for the shower! ;-) I cannot see there at all anymore!!
I also expressed to him my nervousness about labor, but mainly about getting a 4th degree tear. (Warning: If you are or want to become PG DO NOT google 4th degree tear. It can cause nightmares) I used to work for a colo-rectal surgeon years ago, and unfortunately learned a bit too much info on this. And as uncommon as it is I do know of two women that have had it happen to them. Both ended up having to have an additional surgery to repair it. This is so horrible and really freaks me out! I just want to enjoy her once the pain of delivery is over. I don't want to have to be on pain meds and worry about an additional surgery. Isn't being a new mother and getting over the trauma of just giving birth with no drugs (if I can do it) enough?!? lol Ok enough about that. No need to work myself up again. Repeating to self and what Dr. G said, this is very uncommon and will hopefully never happen to me. But just in case we are going to start doing the perinial massages, even though they are not proven to be 100% helpful. Like Dr. G said, it can't hurt. We learned about these in my Bradley class. Anyone else hear of this, done this or had experience with it possibly helping during delivery?? They also do this during delivery to avoid tearing, but say it can be done the last month before delivery to help also.

Some exciting news, we put the car seat in!! Here is a pic I took with my phone. Also started putting together my bags for the hospital! Just need to go get some PJ's. I don't have any that are button down or loose straps for easy breastfeeding. Going to get that this weekend and then I will have everything!

Friday I will be 36 weeks. We also have our weekly check up. It will be with another Dr. in the practice because Dr. G is out of town (so that means no coming out this week Lil Pea!). We also go Friday for our last visit @ the perinatal office to have our last ultrasound of her. This ultrasound will be to check her position, and also to check her growth and see about how much she weighs!! Of course I feel like she is huge but she will probably be a little peanut. I will also be asking the Dr. about my new sore belly. But I am sure she is going to say this is normal and part of the end of your pregnancy. Funny cause I could never fully understand why most pregnant women would complain so much the last month for it to just be over. I always felt being pregnant is such a blessing. Why rush it and not enjoy it. I have enjoyed this pregnancy. Even through 16 weeks of horrible 24 hours nausea. And even with this new all day uncomfortable feeling from just being too big. But this last month you are just so big there is no way you could just stay like that for very long. And this is why we go into labor. Some of us sooner and some of us later. Let's wait another 2 weeks and see what I am saying. I still haven't gotten to that point of, Please just let her come out!! But I think that's also because I'm so dang nervous about it all. And this will probably not go away so I guess we will see.

As far as her name, NO we still have not decided on one of the three we have picked. (located on upper right corner of blog) Chris has a favorite out of the three. But his favorite was actually different when we first found out I was PG again. (it was still one of those three) So I tell him he is just as confused as me! I'm actually not confused. I love all three names. I just really don't have a favorite out of the three! Not for her. I am really thinking I will know when I see her what it will be. And if not guess I will have to decide real quick either way! lol

This past week was also a very sad time. One of my best friend's mother passed away last Monday after fighting a long battle with cancer. She was young and it is such a sad situation. I am so sorry for my friend and her family. I can't even imagine her pain and hate that I can't do anything to help take it away.
Still thinking of you every day and I am here ANYTIME you need me.♥

**you can check out new pics of my HUGE belly by clicking our Album top left corner of blog, then go to Lil Pea's album**
*also special thanks to Jodi for my new header! ♥ it!*