9 weeks

So today our lil Pea graduated from an Embryo to a Fetus!! It still is very surreal to me that there is this little being growing rapidly inside of me. I still am having bloating, indigestion and the lovely mostly constant nausea. The nausea has actually been a little worse the last two days. Which is fine with me. As much as I hate the feeling, I am actually grateful for it. I know that may sound weird to some, but to me it let's me know that hopefully it's because lil Pea is growing stronger and bigger every day.
On a different subject one of my fellow blogger friends, JENNIFER , just received some very sad news. When she went for her 9 week scan Friday her baby no longer had a heartbeat. This is now her 4th miscarriage. I feel so sorry for her and her family. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers as I am.
This also makes me realize how quickly things can go wrong. As much as we have made it past such a hurdle already, I still realize how something could still happen. We are so in love with our lil Pea and I just can't even let myself think too much about the grief we would feel at this point if something happened. Also knowing how long it took us this time to even get PG. I still have that nasty nagging feeling that is in the back of my head telling me my body cannot make healthy babies and that we might still lose this one. I even think sometimes maybe the drugs are just prolonging the inevitable. But then I think maybe my body just really wasn't ready those two other times. Or maybe some of my eggs aren't the best but the reason it took so long to get PG this time is because somehow my body knew to wait until that "perfect" egg came along that would be our beautiful baby soon. And I have to think this is it as not to drive myself totally insane.
I wish we were going to see our lil Pea this week. You don't know how bad I want to call my dr and say I just can't wait until next week! But I am grateful he at least mentioned I can come in at 10 weeks again instead of waiting until 12 weeks. So until then I will try to patiently wait until next week to see our lil Pea. I think maybe I will have a little sigh of relief if everything is still going good next week and we see our lil Pea and a still perfect heartbeat. And by 12 weeks I have promised myself I will truly start to have fun with this PG. Maybe even go out and buy a little baby book or toy or something!
Until then we continue to pray lil Pea stays strong and continues to grow into our healthy baby we hope to meet in 31 weeks. (or 30 is fine also =))